Who Needs Lebron? We got this guy now.

Are you fucking kidding me? First of all, I just want to say that I didn't believe that this was this guy's real voice. I think his name is Teddy. Teddy here allegedly went to school and studied how to sound like an On Air Personality but got mixed up in drugs and alcohol that's why he landed on the streets. Hey Teddy, maybe you should of paid attention in D.A.R.E classes and you wouldn't be in this predicament in first place. Don't get me wrong, I am all for people getting second chances but the fucking Cavs have the worst record in the Eastern Conference and we're still trying to get over that cock sucking, self-absorbed, Game 5 quitting mother fucker leaving town. I guess we need to find a quality replacement for the legendary Joe Tait but we should of at least taken a look at the guy who announces people's names and tells them to come on down on The Price Is Right. Although, it would be pretty sweet to see Teddy here dressed in some of Craig Sager's suits.

Phillip! You Old Sailor, You!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jlrrolTYoE   < This is what Phillip probably had to go through.

The Zen is a boy toy?!?!?!? You bet your ass he is.  This cat has got a fist full of jewelry and is a lock for first ballot hall of famer.  I don't even get what Mark Cuban's motive was to knock Jeanie Buss for thinking Phillip is a boy toy.  I'd be her boy toy any day of the week.  She's a smoke show with a SHIT TON of dough.  I would do so many unsavory things to that little tasty slice of fuck pie.  I used to like Mark Cuban, too.  Now I think I might be more of Phil Jackson fan strictly because at the ripe age of 65, he's still laying pipe while winning championships.  Golf clap, Phillip. 



Who wouldn't want to be her boy toy?  I'd motor boat the shit out of this little minx.

Just Give It Up

Wow!!! Out of pro football (allegedly) for a day and grey bush seems to steal the spotlight again.  On a night where the future of the NFL (Andrew Luck) is playing in one of his biggest games of his life and this has to come out.  You should be ashamed of yourself, grey bush.

For those who don't know.  Brett Favre is being accused of yet another infidelity while he was playing for the New York Jets.  Apparently, #4 sent sexual advances to two female (Gotta clear that up, I never know who I'm working with on the Catch of the Day) massage therapists FORMERLY employed by the Jets.  I say FORMERLY because it is alleged that these 2 therapists weren't offer further employment after they respectfully declined Favre's ding a ling.  Shocking. 

Now these two ungrateful little bitches are suing Favre along with the Jets for sexual misconduct in the workplace yaddah yaddah yaddah.  Favre's is worrying about this like he is worrying about next week's defense (The Vikings are not in the playoffs.  Again, gotta clear it up for the morons on Catch of the Day).  My prediction is that he gave Jenn Sterger an undisclosed payout, these skanks found out so they're making headlines and then staying quiet.  Come on, the guy (Favre) made $20 million this season, you think he's worried about a cool mil to each skank he sexually harrassed?  Nope.  Just another page taken out of The Tiger Manual of Marriage

Betting the House

So porn king, Steve Hirsch is betting the house that OctoMom's appearance in one of his movies will break the bank.  Let's hope.  The porn kingpin is putting an offer out to take care of the note on the reality tv star's house that is currently being foreclosed.  Below is the link to TMZ.com where you can find more articles regarding this train wreck of a mother.  I frankly don't give a shit about this tramp, I think she is disgusting and if I had the funds I would take care of the foreclosure and tack on a few more duckets just so she DIDN'T take her clothes off.  That's me though.

http://www.tmz.com/2011/01/03/octomom-steven-hirsch-vivid-house-balloon-payment-foreclosure/

Grade School Drama

This is probably one of the more blown up stories making it's rounds through the internet today.  Selena Gomez, who stars on Nickelodeon or Disney or some station I haven't watched since I was sucking on Mama Tuna's breasts, has been receiving death threats for recent pictures involving her new beau, Justin Bieber.  Apparently, her and the Biebs were recently photographed  on their Carribean vacation all over eachother which is pretty sweet because she is a little older than him if I'm not mistaken.  You can tell that it is only the 12 and 13 year old girls of America who are threatening to ice Selena.  I mean look at all the tweets that were sent to @selenagomez on tmz.com.  One is like "@selenagomez I swear if you are the girlfriend of Justin Bieber then I will kill you :@".  Really???  You're going to cap your death threat with a fucking smiley face?  That's like saying, "@selenagomez I'm going to have my mom drive me to your house and beat the shit out of you with my Hannah Montana life size doll".  It just doesn't fit.

I don't see why Ms. Gomez is getting so much shit thrown at her.  You don't Giselle getting death threats and she is married to Tom Brady with photos of her pretty much making Brady her bitch.  First she's kissing other guys then there are pictures of Brady riding bitch instead of shotgun.  I would also think that Brady's ladies are much more capable of inflicting any type of physical pain onto another person as opposed to the big wheel riding bitches that are knocking on Selena.  Don't worry Selena, Tuna's got your back.

All Alone

So Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis have called it quits.  Thank Christ!!!  Jackie from That 70's Show was way too hot for Kevin from Home Alone.  I mean come on, Jackie.  You used to get plowed my Ashton Kutcher pretty much before he was ASHTON KUTCHER.  You have been the voice over in one of most successful animated series on television since The Simpsons in Family Guy.  In my opinion, she was the hottest she has ever been in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  A) We all got to see her tits.  B) She was a pretty bad ass chick.  C)  We all got to see her tits.  Brains, beauty, and a sense of humor will get you pretty much any guy you want.  So saying that, Mila, why the fuck would you date a knob who can't seem to successfully go on vacation with his family who is the size of a large small country?  For those who do not agree with me, take a look at the picture below and rethink your argument. 



Kevin, your girlfriend.  YOWWWZAAAA!!!

The End of the Revolving Door

Alright ladies and gentlemen, here we go again.  The Cleveland Browns are officially in search of their new head coach.  Is anyone really shocked though?  Here you have president Mike Holmgren who came into a situation where he didn't have the head coach of his choice or personnel of his choice for that matter.  I was never even Mangini fan but I thought he at least deserved a chance seeing that he had a dog shit roster to work with.  The talent this past season was much better improved since last year but Mangini didn't know how to utilize what was in front of him.  The fact that Jake Delhomme kept on playing when he was "healthy" is beyond me. 

Rumors coming out of Berea, OH is that Jon Gruden is the leading candidate for the vacant coaching spot.  Since hearing that, I have rocked the biggest hard on.  Jon Freaking Gruden!!!! Super Bowl winning coach.  Doesn't take shit from any player, coordinator, or pretty much any other person who isn't the President/Owner.  He is what every Cleveland coach should embody.  Knows the game inside and out all while keeping a tight ship in his locker room.  Can you imagine Jon Gruden as Head Coach, Josh McDaniels developing Colt McCoy the same way he helped Tom Brady, and Mike Singletary or Marvin Lewis finally building a respectful defense that belongs in the AFC North?  I know I am just talking like the typical opitimistic Cleveland Browns fan but with Mike Holmgren at the helm, anything can be possible.