Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Say Hello to the Bad Guy

With all these "divas" in sports making career changing decisions, all these new stories, er I mean allegations are surfacing that make these stars look like dickheads.  And as bad as it might sound, I love it. 

Age before talent so let's start with good ole' number 4.  Yes, I'm talking about Brett Favre, the old gun slinger.  According to, back when Grandpa Favre was with the New York Jets, he got to know the Jets' sideline reporter, Jenn Sterger.  Jenn Sterger got her claim to fame when she was at a Florida State football game looking hot as hell and then parlayed that to instant internet fame.  Once that geriatric quarterback started taking snaps for the Green Machine, he started snapping pictures of his crank and sending them to Ms. Sterger.  Aside from pictures of the little gun slinger, #4 also snapped photos of himself tugging himself wearing nothing but a pair of Crocks and a wristwatch.  Coincidentally this was the same watch he wore in his retirement ceremony/press conference.  Other than being an indecisive diva, Brett Favre is now dubbed as a perverted old man who wears Crocks.  The part of this story that really cracks me up is the fact that Brett Lorenzo was watching the Super Bowl at his Mississippi home with none other but good ole' Cheetah Woods.  Now I'm not giving the verdict on this one but I am saying something my parents told me all throughout high school when I was getting in trouble.  "You might not have done anything wrong but you are guilty by association.".  Thanks, Mom and Dad. 

Even though I would not like to talk about that Benedict Arnold known as Lebron James, he unfortunately ties into this post.  Allegedly, Lebron was approached by the Tao nightclub in the Venetian casino in Vegas to be the spokesperson for a party.  Ok, an NBA superstar with a shit ton of money partying in Vegas?  Yeah, he's really going to stay out of trouble.  Lebron allegedly while in Vegas was acting like his cocky self, shadow dribbling a basketball through the casino, making absurd requests for panty-less women swinging from the ceiling, and flicking off reporters from his "beloved" hometown of Akron.  Aside from Lebron's Vegas getaway, I have also been informed from my sources that the whole Delonte/Gloria James rumor is a little fabricated.  According to my inside sources, Delonte never slept with Gloria James.  The story I was told was that Lebron initially stuffed Delonte's girlfriend.  Delonte found out so he proceeded to go ahead and sting Lebron's girlfriend.  Woops, I'm sorry.  I don't mean Lebron's official girlfriend, Savannah.  I'm talking about one of Lebron's side girlfriends that he was doing.  Allegedly, after Delonte stung Lebron's side piece of ass, he then put her on the floor for game 5 of the Celtics series.  Confused yet?  Basically, Lebron went after Delonte's chick so Delonte wanted to indirectly say "fuck you" to Lebron by not only tagging one of his girls but then sticking her courtside in a crucial playoff game.  I don't know about you but Delonte is slowly becoming my favorite player in the NBA even though his actions may or may not have caused the Cavs to not make it to the Finals this year.   

So with all these "icons" consistently fucking up and destroying their former squeeky clean images, who does the youth of America turn to for admirtation and guidance?  That is what I find to be comical when guys like David Stern stick up for Lebron when Dan Gilbert grilled him in a letter after he left.  Nothing was untrue in that letter he addressed to the people of Cleveland.  Dan Gilbert is more of a role model than Lebron James is.  Nothing was wrong when the Green Bay Packers' front office decided to let go of Favre.  They were doing what was right for their franchise.  They wanted the face of their franchise to project positive publicity and certainty to their fans.  They weren't going to put up with a diva who, as of lately, takes pictures of his hang down while wearing Crocks and sends them to hot sideline reporters (Allegedly).  What the public needs to realize is that even though an individual is talented on the playing field, they can be a complete schlupp in real life situations.  They think because they can throw a ball 60 yards or score 50 points a night they are above the rules and authority will overlook what they did in real life settings.  No athlete is bigger than the team they are on and they are certainly not bigger than the real role models in our world.  So say good bye to your former icons and hello to the new bad guys. 

Fuck Lebron.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Show Me The Money

One of the few things I will never understand in the NFL is how all these top draft picks are getting paid obscene amounts of money before they even take a professional snap.  With training camps beginning and all of these players signing their rookie contracts, I am blown away by the kind of jack these franchises are dishing out to these kids. 

Take Sam Bradford for example.  The former Oklahoma Sooner just inked an $80 million deal over 6 years with $50 million of that guaranteed.  Dude can blow his knee out tomorrow, never play a down in the NFL, and crutch his gimp ass all the way to the bank.  Sam Bradford did win a Heisman trophy and was the starting quarterback on a perennial national championship contender the past 1 1/2 years.  I say 1/2 because he got injured half way through the season.  He has a surgically repaired shoulder that can go at any given sack he takes.  On the other hand, Sam Bradford could light it up his rookie season, lead the pathetic excuse for a franchise known as the St. Louis Rams to the playoffs, and earn Offensive Rookie of the Year.  Sam Bradford could go on and have a Peyton Manning career with 5 MVP's, a few Super Bowl rings, and a super-model wife (ok, that's a little more Tom Brady than Manning but fuck Michigan).  Just because he torched college teams for 400 passing yards and 3 touchdowns back in school doesn't mean he can do that against professional defensive backs.  History also can speak loudly about the first overall pick being used on quarterbacks.  What's Tim Couch, Ryan Leaf, and Jamarcus Russell doing right now besides counting their whopping signing bonuses?

What's funny about these rookies getting paid is the fact that you have all these veterans who are holding out of training camp because they want a new deal.  These players feel they have outplayed their rookie deals and decide to hold out from their team's training camp.  Seventh overall pick Joe Haden just signed his 5 year $50 million contract with $26 million of that guaranteed.  Before the weekend, Nnamdi Asomugha was the highest paid cornerback in the league.  Now, $50 million later, Joe Haden can hold that title.  Without even taking an NFL snap.  Derrelle Revis who was drafted in 2007 by the New York Jets at number 14 signed a rookie deal of $30 million with $11 million of that guaranteed over 6 years.  Now, Joe Haden was picked at number 7 and the rookie pay scale is gradually increasing every year but the Browns' rookie is almost making double of what Revis signed for.  Revis has only played 3 seasons in the pros but he has shown that he will be a stud in this league for the next 5-8 years.  Joe Haden started playing cornerback in college.  Haden was a high school quarterback so he is still learning the position.  Joe Haden was such a freak of an athlete that he was bound to tear it up in college.  College teams win because they usually possess players with speed and an abundance of athleticism.  That doesn't work in the pros.  You need football players if you're trying to win on the professional level.  You need a smart player who understands every aspect of the game.  I'm not writing off Joe Haden but you need the kid to step in and start playing right away, not learn the position.  That is where all of Revis' leverage should be coming from when he meets with General Manager Mike Tannenbaum.  He should say, "Look, this scrub just got $50 million before even taking an NFL snap.  I am an All-Pro and many experts call me the best corner in the game.  Fuck you, pay me.".  Or something along those lines. 

Lastly, do not be shocked when you see these rookies getting into a little bit of trouble.  If you were 21 or 22 and just signed a contract for millions of dollars and probably making a few more mil in endorsements, would you be having a little fun?  Yeah, me too.  I would be on the first thing smoking to Vegas, shack up in Villa, hit every club, gamble my Gatorade endorsement away, and drink my face off.  I'm talking hookers, yachts, choppers, Phantoms all on the regular.  These kids see all those zeroes on their deal and they feel like they're the king.  After they scratch their agent a commish check they are going straight to the Mercedes dealer and picking up the new S 550 and throwing some D's on that bitch.  So a message to all of these GM's, show your playmakers the money.