Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Entertaining Television Outside of the Television

I love "The Hills" on MTV.  Not for the actual show but for the news, drama, and pretty much all the bullshit that comes with it outside of it's nightly time slot. 

I go on Yahoo! everyday to try and catch up on some news and usually learn some useless knowledge like which city is the manliest city in America (which would obviously be Bay Village with whichever city Chuck Norris resides in coming in a close second.).  Seeing that today is the season finale of "The Hills", there has been articles and stories about Spencer Pratt allegedly planning to crash the party being held at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel for the premiere of the episode.  Personally, I think this would be awesome because I see this guy to be the biggest douche bag in America next to Lebron James and you have to know that there is going to be more security there then a White House dinner party.  Hmmmm, maybe his chances are pretty good of crashing this thing then.  Anyways, this knob's picture is going to be at every entrance more than a skank's picture floating around at every entrance at The Masters.  There is no way he is crashing this thing and if he does, haha let's just say I want to see the kind of fight he puts up.   

But that's the thing.  That story about Spencer Pratt planning to crash this party and advertising his agenda over his Twitter account is more entertaining than the actual show he was kicked off of.  I mean the guy got kicked off the show for threatening to kill a female producer.  Who wants to argue that seeing which one of the million guys that stuffed Kristen and ended up leaving her for another slut is more entertaining than reading about psycho ass Spencer Pratt threatening to slit a producer's throat?  That's what I thought, no one.  I mean, you have to almost watch the show to get somewhat of a background story for the news outside of the show.  I mean if I would have never known that Spencer fell off the reservation, if I didn't see an episode where he was playing with "magical crystals" in the middle of a club then almost gets in a brawl with Brody Jenner and starts crying I probably would have never believed any of this.  So then you hear that he threatens to kill a producer and your only reaction is "Finally, mother fucker.".

I just love how you get these fans of the show who actually believe that this is what really happens.  They think that these "celebrities" are just living their lives without any influence of a camera being in front of them 24/7.  There was a special on MTV that actually revealed a bunch of the secrets to these shows.  Secrets like the producers trying to time when one of the cast members would arrive at a certain place because their ex-boyfriend was seen sucking on another girl's fingers at the bar or some bull shit like that.  People, this is not reality!  Don't get me wrong I love when the cast members get in a little scuffle and bitches start pulling hair and clawing at eachother but how many times does that happen?  Once or twice per season if that?  You have to watch the shows so you can stay somewhat informed with the drama going down off the camera.  Shit like Kristen Cavallari gets busted with an 8ball of coke all while giving some 45 year old a hand jibber WHILE driving drunk down Santa Monica Boulevard.  Now that's entertainment.  The producers need to cut the fat off the show and start airing some of the good shit.  I would love to just log onto Yahoo! tomorrow and the first story I see is "Lauren Conrad gets busted at the Roosevelt having a 5 some with the San Diego Chargers' offensive line all while cooking crystal meth in the bathroom."  Wow, imagine how much the ratings would sky rocket after that if they wanted to film another season. 

All I'm saying is that if they are going to call this reality television then start filming what really goes on in reality.  I mean the good stuff.  I don't care if Brody was seen at a club with some skank's hands down his pants in front of Kristen.  Don't get me wrong.  That's sweet but I can go down to West 6th and see that if I really wanted.  I want to see these "celebrities" do stupid shit and get busted while doing it.  They have been dubbed stars when really they are just a bunch of puppets for these cheesy producers to toy with.  So MTV producers, if you can start showing the "real" entertainment instead of this fabricated nonsense then I'm sure all of America will be thankful.  Oh yeah, and try and set up Spencer Pratt to get his ass whooped by like 5 security guards during your season finale.  Thanks.

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