So one of the most entertaining things I have experienced in Italy was the disco tech called "Peter Pan". Every guy in this place was a douche bag beyond belief. Some people may call this "fashionable" but I think they all look like they have seen one up close quite a few times. There was one guy (he probably could've been thrown in the category of "gym guy") who was yoked as shit but had this tight see through short sleeve shirt on. Tan as hell with his hair all styled in a way I have never seen before. I watch him walk to the bar then walks back towards the dance floor holding what looked like a lime green martini, maybe an appletini. This guy was too easy to tear into so I decided to see what other poor sap I could try and make want to pop a cyanide pill in his own J&B and Cola. I then see this guy in the section next to ours wearing a pink scarf. Ding ding ding, we found a winner.
So this guy is with a group of girls and some of his boys. I see them trying to dance and I just started to get giddy. I make myself a fourth vodka red bull and decide to go and try my newly acquired Italian speaking skills on this guy's girl. "Eeyo mota captivo" which means "I am real bad". She started lauging so I followed with a "Par se Ingles?" which means "do you speak english?". She replied with a no so I responded with a "Well that's cool, maybe you can leave this guy and I can teach you a little.". Considering she had this "Back off you dumb ass American before I pepper spray your ass", I decided to laugh in her face and walk away. I go and make myself another vodka red bull and start showing these dough spinners how to dance, freak-grind up-sixth grade-negro style. You would've thought it was the second coming of Mussolini.
Our ride is eventually leaving so I get lost on the dance floor and end up walking up outside and seeing everyone piling into this Mercedes van that was rented for us. One of my co-workers grabs me and pulls me out the van to show me these bouncers throw this garlic-knot making tool into a road baracade. One of the Shrek looking door men then proceeds to take his Italian leather boot and plant it right in this dude's face. The other two then begin to take turns allowing this guy's face to hit their closed, swinging fists. While this guy is screaming for his life, these door guys grab him by his belt, drag him to this high flight of steps, kick him a few times in the ribs, then heave him down the concrete stairs. By far, the most entertaining thing I have seen thus far in Italy.