Friday, April 30, 2010

Can't Teach an Old Dog New Tricks

Is Santonio Holmes serious? This is an honest question. I mean ever since this guy came into the league he has been nothing but trouble for his respective team. For those who do not know what I am speaking of, Santonio Holmes is an NFL wide receiver who was previously employed by the Pittsburgh Steelers but was recently traded to the New York Jets. Oh yeah, Santonio Holmes was traded to the New York Jets shortly after he was being accused of allegedly throwing a glass at some hoochie's eye in a club (Does this NOT shock anyone else?). Ever since Santonio came into the league, he has done nothing but get into trouble. From domestic violence charges to marijuana possession. This next one is just straight stupoid. On April 29th, Holmes was escorted off a plane heading to Vegas from Pittsburgh for the Floyd Mayweather/ Shane Mosely fight. Why was Mr. Holmes escorted off this flight you ask? Santonio Holmes was escorted off the aircraft for refusing to turn off his ipod. Yes, you heard that right. This dumb ass refused to turn his ipod off.

Now, I was recently on a flight from Newark to Cleveland where this camel jockey (I'm allowed to drop Arabic slurs, I'm part carpet rider) refused to put his carry on bag a few spaces behind his seat. This is understandable only because the guy might have had some valuable shit in his bag. Or a bomb. If he wants to be able to keep an eye on his bag I believe he should have the right. This is America, not the Arab Emirate. If you have ever flown on a plane you know that the pilot politely asks his passengers to turn off all electronic devices for take off. This is a request that myself and I bet many others have thought as being an asinine practice, but we do it anyways. Something so silly but only takes 10 minutes out of your 3 and half hour flight. What Santonio, did Ludacris have to get you all pumped up for the take off? Do you need Three-Six Mafia to get you in the zone for instructions on how to use the seat belt and where your flotation device is? I can just see it right now.

Sexy Stewardess: "Um, excuse me sir. Can you please turn off your ipod? We are about to take off."

Dumb-Ass Football Player: "Naw, bitch lady! You know who I am? I'm Santonio Holmes! Get me a purple drank!"

Sexy Stewardess: "Um, but sir, all electronic devices must be turned off for take off."

Dumb-Ass Football Player: "I don't think ya heard me. I said naw, bitch."

Sexy Stewardess: "Sir, if you don't turn off your device we will have to escort you off the aircraft."

Dumb-Ass Football Player: "Fine! Do it! Take ME to jail!"

Sexy Stewardess: "Ok asshole! You asked for it!"

Cue the big, burley Air Marshall just bear hugging Santonio and throwing him off the plane like Ben Roethilisberger hooking up with him for his game winning touchdown pass in the Super Bowl.

Now, I had another post ready to publish but I saw this story and had to give my take. I don't know weather to think these athletes are either completely brain dead or really believe that they are invincible. In Santonio Holmes' case, he has to be the dumbest boon I have ever seen. Hey, dumbass! You were just traded a year after you won the Super Bowl for the Steelers. If you haven't learned that your conduct has been that big of an issue, then those 3 years at Ohio State were a waste. I mean shit, Stevie Wonder could've seen how big of screw up you were during your tenure with Pittsburgh. I guess it's only fair to give the New York Jets staff a little taste of how big of pain in the ass you're going to be. Don't get down though, Jets fans. If Santonio doesn't work out, you always have Braylon. Hmmmm. Sorry, Jets fans.

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