What A Girl Wants

This is not much of a post containing my view.  I will throw my take into this but this is more research than anything. 

Now, I read many of the articles that Men's Health usually has on their website.  I recently read one that had many different kinds of positions to have sex in.  Some I have heard of (done) before, sorry Mom.  Some were a little new to me.  I'm not saying I won't try them only because I feel it is my duty as a blogger to blog about subjects I am knowledgeable in.  I mean you wouldn't want marriage advice from Tiger Woods, would you?

Is it true women like it rough?  Don't get me wrong, I like it when a woman can get into it and show a little emotion.  I like when a girl isn't afraid to talk to me while she's in the act. I don't mind if a girl feels she needs to give me a little bite on the ear, that'll happen. So now I'm asking you, ladies. What do you like?


Do women have the same fantasies as men? Say you're on a plane, do you look at the passenger next to you and say, "Wow, the things I would do to get naked with her in that 3x3 bathroom back there.". Do women have fantasies of hooking up with doctors or male nurses like men have of a woman wearing a nurse outfit? I mean I understand the whole "cabana boy" type of fantasy women have because like the whole being waited on thing so what would be better than a shirtless dude serving them cocktails and then fulfilling every dirty fantasy they might be thinking at the time? If you have seen the movie "Wedding Crashers", are women really like the mom where she wants to be called "Kitty Cat"? As women get older, is all they want is a younger guy who won't be afraid to feel their cans? Because I can tell you right now, men love a good cougar.


Now for those who have read my one post regarding cougars and hyenas, i think the men can agree that a good cougar is something that should be celebrated and applauded when you see one. Now, I would never marry a woman who was 20 years older than me, I just don't think a man and a woman with a 20 year age difference would not have enough chemistry where they could have a legitamite, healthy relationship. It would all be based around sex. A) The guy will have sex with her whenever she wants because well, let's face it, no guy is going to turn down sex if it is being thrown at him. B) Do you honestly think a woman in her late 40's or early 50's could put up with someone like, let's see, me? That's what I thought. But do women really just start getting on hot and bothered over younger guys because they know the guy won't throw his back out while he's crushing it?  I mean why would an older woman want to hook up with a guy who goes out with his boys, drinks like a viking, and then usually will do something that will throw away any morals he might have had right out the window?  I mean is that what cougars are really looking for in a cub? 

So I am sorry if this entry was not as entertaining but this was extensive research that I am conducting for pretty much no reason, I'm just a perv. But please, ladies feel free to comment, put your take in, let your voice be heard. You can say what women really want, what you may want, or you can just call me a little perv for putting this up. Because the beautful thing is that this is Big Tuna's Catch of the Day so I can be as perverted as I want. And if women want a perv then stay tuned because I'm sure my blog will not disappoint.

Oh That Was Your Girl? I Thought I Recognized Her

A good buddy of mine, we'll call him "Stitch", sent me a text this past weekend while he was on the driving range making fun of this guy who was giving his girlfriend a lesson.  This is great because there are many types of guys like this.  We'll call this one, "I'm Sweet Guy".  "I'm Sweet Guy" is that guy who sometimes is a boyfriend or just a guy trying to impress a girl he's with. This cracked me up because once "Stitch" told me this guy's girlfriend started ripping on him because he was shanking every shot, I immediately thought of "Golf Guy". You know, that guy who walks up to the first tee decked out in all new gear, thousand dollar irons, and just throwing around outrageous bets that everyone in the foursome knows he won't win. It's great because this guy thinks he is so sweet but his girlfriend is laughing at him and turning around giving you the "god my boyfriend sucks I want to come over there and show you my golf stroke, tuna" look. Once shankapotomus sees his girl become uninterested and gazing at other dudes, he puts his lesson to an abrupt halt, grabs his shit, and tells his girlfriend to hop in the car.  I guess he isn't one for competition. 



This next guy is a freaking joke.  I like to call this "Transparent Guy".  "Transparent Guy" is the dude you see out with a girl that is reaching to impress his date.  Perfect example.  I was at Regal Cinemas this weekend picking up a gift card and as I turn around to walk out, there is "Transparent Guy" with a date.  You can tell this was one of their first dates because:
A.  It was noon on a Sunday.
B.  This girl looked so uncomfortable with the whole situation.  Wandering aimlessly with her eyes, fidgeting her hands, and pretty much pacing back and forth. 
C.  When dude went to pay for the tickets, the cashier asked "Would you like to donate a dollar to the Less-Fortunate-Handiacapped Children's Fund."  (I don't really remember what the charity was.)  No joke, this guy looked at his date,like he was making sure she was paying attention, then says "Yeah, you can just keep the change." 

Now, I'm all about charity.  I believe if you are in a position to help someone then you should take full advantage of the opportunity.  I believe if someone like "Transparent Guy" tries to impress a first date by donating $2.50 to some charity that he has no real connection with, then he should get kicked in the mouth.  It doesn't stop at frivolous donations, though.

  Next time you're at a restaurant look for the couple that has "first date" written all over them.  The guy probably has a pastel colored shirt on, a lot of product holding up the lettuce, and he is drinking wine.  I like wine at special occassions but I would rather go with a cocktail or even a beer.  You can tell this guy just wants to go to the bar, line up 3 shots of whiskey or tequilla, slam them, and then hoot and holler and the first fine ass that passes him.  Men sometimes do that.  Bro, everyone in the place can tell you really want to get with that chick you're with.  Aside from you sucking down that vino, do you know how we all know you want to get the deed done?  Because we all do, too.  And by the looks of that dress your date is wearing, the feeling might be mutual.